One of my biggest struggles is something I have dealt with my whole life. It has come out almost every week for the last 8 years I’ve been in vocational ministry.

I’m an introvert.

I know, I can hear you laughing. You’ve seen me in my role as a youth minister, camp dean, vacation bible school volunteer, or so many others and you’re thinking, “There’s no way you’re and introvert!”

I have taken several personality profile tests over the years and they all have said the same thing, 50% introverted and 50% extroverted. Three out of five tests have it exactly 50/50 and two of the five have me ever so slightly introverted. This means, I have the ability to be extroverted when I want to, but there is still the introverted side of me that needs to be alone. Sometimes, people just drain me!

A couple months before I met my wife, I went on a first date with a girl I met online. She was a great Christian girl and we had a lot in common. We went to dinner and had a really good time. We spent just under three hours with dinner and talking afterwards. I got back in my truck and almost fell asleep before turning it on! I was exhausted!! It was very clear she was an extreme extrovert and she literally sucked every part of it out of me too! I was so tired!! Needless to say, there was no second date.

Let me share with you a moment of transparency: sometimes Sundays are like that too. Many times during worship I am filled only to be completely emptied in the 20-30 minutes after church I stand around talking, especially Sundays I preach. I know God has called me to ministry and to preaching. It can still be exhausting. This paradox is a constant reminder of His strength sustaining me and not my own.

There have been several times throughout the years I have felt like a hypocrite. I have not felt like going to an event while simultaneously feeling that I need to attend. I was telling a mentor about this the other day and he told me this: it’s not manipulation, it’s motivation. He was right. There have been times I have felt like a hypocrite and two-faced. I’m not trying to be someone I’m not. Instead, I’m being who I need to in order to extend the kingdom of God here on Earth. I’m motivated by my mission. I’m driven to do what needs to be done in order to serve others and tell others about Jesus Christ.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:22, “I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.”

We are called to place such a high value on sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ that we do everything within the law of God to reach others with the Gospel. It’s exhausting! Especially for us introverts! But one day I’ll rest in the arms who will say to me, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

Pastor and author Craig Grocshel has told his congregation multiple times, “We will do anything short of sin to reach people who don’t know Christ.”

How far are you willing to go?